Parents' Guide: Spotting Signs of Teen Depression in Nepal | Maanasik Swasthya

"Yeslai ke bhayeko? Yo yesto ta thiyena?" (What's wrong with him/her? They weren't like this before.)

If you're a parent in Nepal wondering this about your teenager, your intuition might be trying to tell you something. The journey from child to adult is full of ups and downs, but sometimes, those "downs" are more than just typical teenage moodiness. They can be signs of depression.

In our fast-changing Nepali society, the pressure on teenagers from SLC/SEE exams to social media and future uncertainties is higher than ever. As parents, it's crucial to know the difference between normal growing pains and something more serious.

This guide will help you understand the signs of teen depression in Nepal and how you can offer support with compassion and care.

Understanding the Difference: Teenage Behavior vs. Depression

It's normal for teenagers to be irritable, want more privacy, and have emotional outbursts. Depression is more intense, lasts longer (for weeks or months), and significantly interferes with their daily life at home, school, and with friends.

• Key Signs of Depression to Watch For:

  1. Emotional Changes:

  • Persistent Sadness or Irritability: Frequent crying, anger, or lashing out over small things. They might seem constantly 'kharab mood' (in a bad mood).

  • Loss of Interest: Quitting sports, hobbies, or activities they once loved, like music, art, or going out with friends. They may no longer want to attend family gatherings or festivals.

  • Hopelessness: Expressing feelings of worthlessness or guilt. They might say things like, "Koi farak pardaina" (No one cares) or 'Ma kehi hudina' (I am good for nothing).

  2. Behavioral Changes:

  • Social Withdrawal: Isolating themselves in their room, avoiding family and old friends, and refusing to engage. This is a major red flag in our typically communal culture.

  • Changes in Academic Performance: A sudden or sharp drop in grades, not completing homework, or teachers reporting a lack of participation.

  • Reckless Behavior: This can include experimenting with alcohol, drugs, or other risky activities.

  3. Physical Changes:

  • Changes in Sleep: Sleeping all the time (hypersomnia) or suffering from insomnia and staying up all night on their phone.

  • Changes in Appetite: A significant loss of appetite or overeating. You might notice sudden weight loss or gain.

  • Unexplained Aches & Pains: Frequent complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or general body pain with no clear medical cause.

  How to Approach Your Teenager in the Nepali Context

  Starting this conversation can feel daunting, especially with our cultural hesitancy to talk openly about mental health in Nepal. Here’s how you can bridge the gap:

  1. Choose the Right Time and Place

  Find a calm, private moment. Avoid confronting them in front of other family members, which might cause them to feel shame (laj) and shut down. A casual walk or a quiet evening at home can be a good setting.

  2. Start with "I" Statements and Show Concern

  Begin with love and observation, not accusation.

  • Don't say: Timilai ke bhayeko? (What's wrong with you?)

  • Instead, try: 'Maile herda herda, timlai dherai thakai lagyo jasto lagchha, babu/nani. Kehi chha bhane malai bhannu.' ('I've noticed you seem very tired lately. You can tell me if something is wrong.)

  3. Listen Without Judgment

  Your goal is to make them feel safe, not to solve all their problems immediately. Let them speak. Avoid interrupting, dismissing their feelings, or comparing them to others. Validate their emotions by saying, 'Yesle dherai nai garo bhayeko chha hola' (That must be very difficult for you).

  4. Avoid Stigma and Blame

  Depression is not a character flaw, a result of "weak willpower," or something caused by "bad parenting." It is a real medical condition. Reassure them that you are on their side and that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

  What to Do Next: Seeking Help and Support

  1. Talk to a Doctor: Rule out any underlying physical health issues that might be causing these symptoms. A general physician can be a good first step.

  2. Seek Professional Help: Gently suggest speaking with a counselor or psychologist. Normalize it by comparing it to seeing a doctor for a physical illness.

     • Resources in Nepal: Organizations like Kanti Children’s Hospital, Patan Hospital's mental health department, TPO Nepal, and other private counseling centers have professionals who specialize in teenager behavior and mental health.

  3. Be Patient: Recovery is a process. There will be good days and bad days. Your continued support and presence are the most important things you can offer.

  Remember: You are not alone in this. By educating yourself, you are taking the first and most crucial step in helping your child navigate this challenging time. Your understanding can be the light that guides them back.